Yes, I realize that this isn't the kind of title you would expect to see from a blog that tends to center around health and fitness, but it will all make sense in a minute.
As many of you know, I have been an active athlete in the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's TEAM In Training program for several years. Every major endurance event I have completed has been with TEAM. I am currently training for my 5th endurance event with TEAM, America's Most Beautiful Bike Ride June 1st, which is a 100 mile bike ride in the mountains surrounding Lake Tahoe.
For this event, I have partnered up with another 5 time TEAM athlete, and very dear friend, to train and fundraise for this event. We are calling ourselves The Mom Squad. Together we are trying to raise almost $7,000 by June.
So what do two mom's do to raise money?? We hold a pole dancing class.
That's right folks, we talked 30 of our girlfriends into joining us in a night of drunken debachery all for a good cause. We ate dinner, drank too much, and learned crazy new moves all while trying to find our inner sex kittens. I expected to have way to much fun, I expected to be hungover the next day, but what I didn't expect was how all the vulgar, sex oriented, adult humor coming from our instructor could actually translate into valuable life lessons.
LESSON ONE: "If someone is willing to fuck it, they must like the way it looks. "
Women tend to be very critical of themselves, as a personal trainer I see this all the time. We can stand in front of a mirror and scrutinize every curve, every line, every detail about the way we look. We talk down about ourselves and feel down on the inside because we don't like the way we look on the outside. The truth is....we are all beautiful in our own unique way. There is somebody out there who absolutely loves the way we look, they love us on our good days and love us on our bad days, and those are the people we need to pay attention to....not that nasty little demon we put in our own heads...listen to those who love you.
LESSON TWO: "Tits over twat"
What our instructor was referring to was the proper way to walk in high heels, she encouraged us to stand tall and use our curves they way they were meant to be used! Even if you don't wear heels every day, this is still a good lesson. Stand tall, be proud.
LESSON THREE: "Don't go for the quarter, when you can get the whole dollar"
This is a very literal lesson in the stripper world, but for us with a desk job it means don't short change yourself. If you want something go for it. There is no reason you can't have the whole dollar, work for it, earn it, and be proud of your accomplishments!
LESSON FOUR: "Kegel up, because friends don't queef"
Ok...I realize you all weren't there. Nor am I willing to show anymore pictures from that evening. What I can assure you is that based on the leg position she was encouraging us to get into.....this was a very literal statement. Vaginal flatulence is probably no joking matter in the stripper world, so how does this translate into normal life?? Don't blow noxious gas on your friends!! From your "good girl" or not, blowing bad fumes on your friends is not ok. Support each other, love each other.... kegel up girls!! We are all in this together, it is better to do it with friends!
Life lessons from a stripper pole....WHO KNEW?? A couple of personal lessons I learned was that it is only appropriate to yell for a spotter when you are actually in a gym and that squatting heavy weights makes it very hard to twerk....but we can save that for another time.
We had a great Girls Night Out that supported a cause near and dear to my heart! If you would like to support The Mom Squad please click the link below. Any donation, big or small, is greatly appreciated and goes a long way! All donations are tax deductible and you can rest easy knowing 75% of every dollar goes straight to patient services!!
